As an experiment I did some research and found 30 things most women want from their loving partner.
The Wish List
- Make Her Believe She’s the Most Beautiful Woman in the World
It’s not about beauty in the societal sense. It’s about the way you look at her that says, “I choose you.” She wants to feel that you would walk a hundred miles just to see her smile.
- Make Her Laugh
Nothing disarms quite like laughter. If you can find humor in boring and monotonous times, you’ve cracked the code. And we mean that you laugh with her, not at her.
- Be Intellectual
Intelligence is sexy. You don’t have to be a physicist but being able to teach and grow with a woman is attractive.
- Witty and Sharp
Quick wit? Even sexier. Debate her, yes, but don’t be competitive. She’s looking for a man who can make her rethink (and hopefully laugh) simultaneously.
- Masculine Yet Feminine-Feeling
Masculinity is not about machismo. It’s about allowing her space to lean into her feminine energy. When you’re steadfast, she feels safe to exhale. A woman likes to feel protected.
- Stand Up for Her
Not just in grand gestures, but in the small moments, too. The world can be unkind — be her safe haven. But don’t overplay the knight in shining armor. Sometimes, she’s the one wielding the sword.
- Be Emotionally Stable
A ride on a rollercoaster stays at the theme park, not in a relationship. Be her steady hand, not half the reason her life is so stressful.
- Call Her Out, Respectfully
We women love a man who doesn’t fall for our games. But tread lightly. Call her out, yes but always with respect, and best with a touch of humor.
- Take Control and Make Decisions
Indecision is not attractive. It’s not about dominating (unless she’s into that), it’s about direction. This is one reason men don’t get further with me. (You can learn about others here). Pick the restaurant, choose the wine, book the tickets. Trust me, she’ll thank you for it.
- Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
Integrity is seductive. Be a man of your word. It really is that simple.
- Get Her
Understanding a woman isn’t a skill. It’s an art. To truly get a woman is to make her feel seen, heard, and valued.
- Be Compassionate
Kindness isn’t weakness. Empathy is magnetic. Show her you care about the world beyond your bubble, and you’ll find a special place in her heart.
- Listen, Don’t “Fix”
Sometimes, all she wants is for you to LISTEN. Not every problem is a nail needing your hammer.
- Communicate When Upset
The silent treatment is a quick way to resentment and an end to your relationship. Talk to her, let her in, and give her the chance to make it right.
- Let Her Shine in Public, Claim Her in Private
When she walks into a room, let her do her thing. When you’re alone, make her feel like she’s yours. Allowing each other to be your own individual is important to a healthy, happy relationship.
- Trust Her
Insecurity is unattractive. Trust her, trust yourself, and trust what you’re building together.
- Show Affection
A playful pat here, a stolen kiss there. Affection isn’t just welcomed, it’s required.
- Give Her the World or Just Your Heart
She’s not expecting a private jet. What she wants is effort, attention, and sincerity.
- Be Playful and Creative in Bed
Boundaries? What boundaries? Intimacy thrives on curiosity and playfulness. Be adventurous, but always consensual.
- Have Attractive Characteristics
We’re visual creatures, too. It isn’t always about looks but women have different tastes. Does he wear glasses, have a beard or long hair are characteristics that attract many women. A good smile never hurts.
- Respect Her Choices in Friends
Her friends don’t need to be your friends, but respecting them? Non-negotiable.
- Treat Your Mother with Respect
A man’s relationship with his mother often speaks volumes about how a man sees women.
- Make Her Feel Both New and Entirely Herself
She’s looking for a paradox: a love that transforms her while bringing her closer to who she really is.
- Good Kisser, Good Hygiene
Hopefully this doesn’t need further explanation.
- Cook for Her
This is all about effort. It doesn’t have to be Michelin-star quality. As they say it’s the thought that counts.
- Ask Her Opinion
She’s not a passenger in this relationship. Include her in the journey.
- Be Romantic and Poetic
It’s not about grand gestures or expectations of a Shakespearean sonnet. A heartfelt gesture makes us swoon just as much.
- Be Faithful
Loyalty is the foundation of trust. This means keeping within the boundaries whether you have a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship.
- Be Charming, Not Disrespectful
Flirting is fine but disrespect is not. Complimenting a woman reminds her how much you appreciate her.
- Snuggle When She Wants to Snuggle
Most women can have sex whenever they want from their partner. Sex is wonderful, but sometimes a shared moment in quietness is even better.
BONUS POINTS: If you have a British accent, are multilingual, or have biceps that could crush a coconut, you’re playing on hard mode. Add millionaire status and… well, you might as well be a unicorn.
When Love Throws Out the Checklist
But here’s the thing. A woman can fall in love with a man who doesn’t check any of the boxes on her list.
I had a list and it wasn’t just any list. It was a declaration of standards, a testament to knowing what I wanted. And then he came along. A living, breathing contradiction to every item on the list.
- I wanted someone with brown or black hair — dark, mysterious, smoldering. My man is bald and a little nerdy.
- I wanted someone witty, the kind of man who could leave me in awe with his insightful humor. He’s actually silly but only with me and somehow his dumb jokes always make me laugh.
- I wanted someone at least 6 feet (182 cm) tall so I could feel petite and protected. He’s not much taller than me, but the way he holds me makes the world feel smaller and safer.
- I wanted someone who would shower me with gifts and grand gestures including sparkly things. He doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong he buys me gifts but things that are needed and more economical.
Instead, he leaves handwritten notes on the fridge that say things like, “Don’t forget your lunch, love”, and they feel more valuable than diamonds.
He’s none of the things I thought I wanted in a man, but he’s everything I never knew I needed.
When you fall in love, a checklist becomes irrelevant. Because love isn’t a résumé. It doesn’t care about qualifications or how neatly someone fits into your preconceived notions.
Love is messy, unpredictable, and often shows up dressed as everything you didn’t think you wanted.
I realized that while I was busy measuring him against my ideal, he was already giving me everything I truly longed for.
- He’s real. Not an airbrushed fantasy, but a human being with flaws and quirks and the ability to make me feel like I belong exactly as I am.
- He’s honest. Brutally, sometimes hilariously so. When my cooking flops, he eats it anyway but offers his critique with humor: “Thank you dear for the meal, but this chicken died twice. Once in life and once in the oven.”
- He makes me feel special, not by ticking off items on a list, but by showing up for me every day in small, significant ways.
- He texts me good luck before every big meeting or when dealing with a loved one I don’t care for.
- He makes sure I’m under the covers on cold nights.
- He remembers the small details about my life, like how I can’t drink coffee past 1pm or I won’t be able to sleep at night.
And he makes me happy, not in a Hollywood-romantic-comedy way, but in a quiet, enduring way that feels like home.
Love helps you learn something about yourself . I learned that my checklist wasn’t about finding the perfect man. It was about seeking security, validation, and the illusion of control.
But real love isn’t about control.
It’s about being free to embrace someone for who they are instead of who you thought you wanted.
So, yes, I threw out the list. I traded in tall, dark, and handsome for kind, thoughtful, and mine. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
Because in the end, what a girl really wants isn’t a person who meets her ideal. It’s someone who sees her, loves her, and makes her feel special every single day.
And that is the only checklist that matters.
